How to handle "The Bill"........

Had a very bad experience a few weeks ago, before I went down to the Home Office Conference. I was on the telephone on the Wednesday, and noticed a fat dark haired man, photographing the front and backs of all the cars in the cul-de-sac.

He had the traditional "beer belly pot" associated with the police force and that is immediately what went through my mind.

Now remember, the previous week I had been down in Weymouth talking to people in the world of Cannabis, but had had to travel down by bus, because the engine had gone on my car, and when I went to Weymouth I was kindly given a car by one of the members and told to keep it.

I immediately phoned my insurance company in Hexham and asked them to insure it, so I could drive it the next day, in order to come back up home.

Well, two days after I saw the photographer in the street, - yes, you've guessed it - I drove out of the street at 9 oclock in the morning, only to be followed by a police car - remember - in Hexham, the police follow me more than anyone else, it seems to be their hobby, or its because I am this wonderful little old lady they would like to destroy and get into prison - Northumberland police are so ambitious.

Anyhow, he stopped me and asked if this was my car, so I immediately looked at my watch, got a piece of paper out of my bag, and noted his number - to be honest, they make me want to throw up when I see them, but as my mother always said, you catch more bees with sugar than you do with salt - thus, I am always "nice" to them.

I was then given a producer which was extremely badly written, so Colin my son, did some detective work, and went out to buy the latest small portable tape recording device - very 21st Century and we set up a telephone conversation.

I knew I had the policeman, but I had to speak to the Insurance man, who had not insured the car fully comprehensive, therefore making the car - void of insurance, so after an hour of practicing I made the conversation and recorded it for posterity.